Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Miles to go before you sleep.....seriously dude!!

I am completely exhausted.
Times of India,Garfield comics 1981 strips,the complete analysis of India-SA tour on howzzat.com and a few hundred harmless scraps in orkut. How much more work can an average software engineer be expected to do in a single day anyway? I am no software geek and get tired very soon.

There are moments,albeit rare,when I sit back and try to plan out a future for myself.Every bachelor has the ability to do so but few exercise it and mostly all end up marrying ,in the process losing all control over their cognitive abilities.
Well this depletion of intelligence quotient in the world is God's way of maintaining His Supremacy upon humans and so be it.

Recently during one of those days when I am saddled with work in office with tough deadlines to meet (Read as :www.jigzone.com) I thought of taking a break and searching something cool in wikipedia and lo behold I came up with Chaos Theory. Extremely sexy name for a theory ..what say ?
This is what it had to say in wikipedia and I quote :

(Note: Please read slowly as it took me close to 3 hours 18 minutes to untangle the knot my poor little diminished brain had got itself in after reading the below paragraph at normal reading speed)

"In mathematics and physics, chaos theory describes the behavior of certain nonlinear dynamical systems that under certain conditions exhibit a phenomenon known as chaos. Among the characteristics of chaotic systems, described below, is the sensitivity to initial conditions (popularly referred to as the butterfly effect). As a result of this sensitivity, the behavior of systems that exhibit chaos appears to be random, exhibiting an exponential error dispersion, even though the system is deterministic in the sense that it is well defined and contains no random parameters."

In simpler terms, we call it marriage !

Now you may re-read the definition above with the help of the following appendix :

Chaos - Ask any husband.
Nonlinear dynamical systems - Wives.
Butterfly effect - Their hysteria at the supposed nosie you make while eating with your mouth open.
Contains no random parameters -Do not have any external claws or visible fangs
Exponential error dispersion -Read on.


He : "Hi Darling I'm back"
She : "Did you get the laundry?"
He : "Well...ahem...you know ..lets see...I got this chorlmint for you"
She : "So you been smoking all day"
He : "Oh no no...so whats for dinner today dear.Shall we eat out today..something with a candlelight maybe"
She : "Your mother called"
He : "Oh what did she say?"
She : "She was worried that I am starving her son to death"
He : "Ha ha ..did she say that ?"
She : "No she said that your sister cooked Chicken Do Pyaza for Jijaji"
He : "Well..so"
She : "Sniff ...sniff..sob"
He : "What ??"
She : "Sniff..Sob Sobb..."
He : "Oh cmon now darling ..dont cry..lets go out for dinner "
She : "So you really can't eat the food I cook isn't it? You think its junk"
He : "Hey cmon I never said that"
She : "Sob sob....sniff sniff ..I wish my mother was here for me...Can we get her for a month or two?"
He :"Well..ahem..you know.... a month..aa...yah why not" (Below belt attack ...not defended)
She :"Excellent.I called her up today afternoon and she is reaching by tomorrow morning's flight at 6:30 am.Please go get her from the airport.Now lets go out for dinner.Cmon hurry up darling!"

Game, Set, Match .............

I dedicate this post to a friend of mine , a particularly lively fellow with a good sense of humour about life.
He is getting married next week.
May his lively spirit rest in peace thereafter.
Amen.

2 comments:

Somya said...

Howlarious post...I am going to forward this to my jiju's and I am sure they r going to say why didn't you write this before they got married. I wish somebody would write a girl's version then I think I would be more eloquent with my comment. Good job!

Nariyal Chutney said...

Marriage to me always looked like this wonderful union which ushers in a beautiful life of companionship , sharing sorrows and celebrating life with somebody from opposite sex on one side while washing clothes , cleaning diapers , buying vegetables and endlessly boring shopping trips on other side .When these two sides collide with each other the relevance of Chaos Theory comes into picture. Good Post Mate :)