Friday, July 28, 2006

Main Aisa Kyon Hoon -- Part I

There are moments in a software engineer's life when he suddenly realises that he has been staring at the computer screen for close to 14 minutes without any other activity,physical or mental accompanying this stare and it is precisely at these moments that he lets out an agonising wail which emanates from deep within but gets stifled somewhere near the throat for software engineers do not usually express opinions as long as the payslip arrives on the last working day of the month.

Immediately he sets out to get the feel of the Outlook Inbox and eventually manages to bring back circulation by sending out a few forwards and re-reading a few of his favourite oldies.
Memories of his college days flash by often making him sit up in surprise at the amount of activity that the familiar looking guy is doing running here and there for sponsorships,participating in debates, wild ad campaigns,Floyd sessions, canteen,organising the quiz papers and that immensely popular Treasure Hunt, taking time out for a few harmless flirts and yet passing those exams with fewer than expected hiccups. That certainly wasnt me,he wonders.

This following bit is just for information courtesy

"Alzheimer's disease (AD) is a progressive neurodegenerative disorder that results in the slow death of subsets of nerve cells in specific brain regions. The brain regions most affected are those involved in memory, recognition and personality, so resulting in dementia. Regions that are relatively spared are, for example, those for controlling movement. This is the reason why Alzheimer patients have memory problems but can walk and move normally, at least until the late stages of disease."

If one were to check about the contributing factors for this disease,I'm sure software engineering would be high on that list. No pun intended here.

This poor soul during those days of campus placements had no idea about the soup he had landed himself in, once his name was called out in that elite list of students.His joy was unbridled then.He had spent four years in the campus using the computer for very useful purposes such as games,pornography,movies,pornography,games,movies.
The day he joins his office, he sees hundreds of computers in front of him and again his joy is unparalleled.This is LAN where Age of Empire would thrive.Man this place rocks.
Fifteen minutes into that classroom which spoke of Pl-SQL,tables,queries,triggers and he politely stands up to leave the room for he surely is in a wrong room.Ha Ha ..these poor guys will have a tough time here,he smirks at the guys in the class.

The first rude shock : He is one of them.

The second rude shock : Computers are used for something called programming and not AOE.

The third rude shock : This is not a bad dream.

The fourth rude shock : This is really not a bad dream.

The fifth rude shock : There is a test day after.

The sixth rude shock : Lunch is postponed.

The seventh rude shock : The canteen is vegetarian.

The eighth rude shock : You cannot surf the internet in office.

The ninth rude shock : You have to sit till 8 for the lab session.

The tenth rude shock : This is only the first day in office.

Software morphing of personality in the next part.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Dead Indian with lost Pride

May God be with all those departed and injured in the horrible horrible blasts.
As regards the perpetrators of this crime,I can only smile at their misfortune at having been born such.

When I wrote the blog below,little did I know that the people of Mumbai will be called upon to show their large heartedness so early and in such a tragic circumstance.
As regards shouts of Mumbai being back on its feet is concerned let us be smart enough to understand that the Mumbai people have not much choice but to go ahead with their lives. It has nothing to do with pride or resilience .
It is a mere question of hunger that drives them.Let the administration not bask in this 'glory' that things are all normal.
Can things be normal for the families of the over 200 dead ever? Are things normal because the people are using the same trains to travel and going about their daily work as before.Can we all sit back and relax at this 'normalcy'
I despise this spineless attitude we have ingrained within ourselves.Year after year and month after month our ineptitude is laid bare.When can we shove aside the political impotencies and expect the authorities to act; to act in such a manner that a fear is instilled within these inhumans.A fear which will make them shake at thoughts of hurting an Indian the next time.
All we have is the spirit of the citizens which is holding the country together.
Please let the ministers know that a few lakh rupees for the dead is not enough a price for lost Indian honour.More needs to be done. We cannot just board the same train the very next day , pat our backs at our courage and carry on with our lives as if nothing has happened .200 lives have been lost and many deformed for ever . Something has happened.Please remind yourself that something has happened.We must act and act now.
Strike or else never hold the pompous republic day parade any more for it only makes us hang our heads in shame.What purpose is all that pseudo might which cannot protect the citizens or does not bother to avenge the brutal murder of its citizens.Shame on us.

Our Prime Minister addresses the nation and says that India will not kneel in front of terror.
Please show him the photgraphs of limbless people affected in the blast. Forget kneeling , they have no legs left to walk.
Show him the headless body of the person and somebody please tell him that he has no more head to hold high for the growing economy which the Prime Minister says will not be affected because of the blasts.

Is India an identity only when we consider 110 crore people?Were the 200 people who died and the above thousand who were injured not India ?If they were and the world over is expressing their condolences for these Indians then Mr.Prime Minister ,we are kneeling and we are kneeling, be it in Mumbai, be it in Srinagar, be it in Coimbatore or be it in Delhi.We have knelt always in the face of these ruthless activities.
I feel sad today, very sad at my helplessness.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Reader's Undigest

We are the rudest proclaims a magazine because we dont pick up papers dropped by someone else, because we dont say thank you after our purchases and because we dont hold the door open for the person coming after us.
New York has the most courteous people on this earth and we in Mumbai have the least.
In other words,New York is the most polite city in the world and Mumbai the least.

Some statistical fodder for thoughts:
Reference :"
Based on the latest available crime stats of New York of 2004 where Results were tabulated using the New York crime collection area population of 8,101,321, there were 226876 recorded crimes committed which includes highly impolite crimes such as murders,rapes,armed robberies,aggravated assaults,to more polite crimes such as burglaries, house and vehicle thefts.

Will the esteemed magazine care to explain how a city, where every third person in a group of 100 is a known criminal, be the politest city in the world ?
I wonder if the polite robbers of New York say thank you before leaving with their booty or hold the door open for the owner of the house to raise an alarm ?

This logic of comparing the survey results with the criminal data sheet of the area is highly stupid and irrational.I agree.
Similarly ridiculous are the tests taken as the benchmark to define the politness factor of a city.

Is the civil war initiated by the US in Iraq in the name of destroying non existent weapons of mass destruction not rudesness?
Does making the mockery of the United Nations and ordering air strikes anywhere in the world not amount to rudeness?
Does cheap political manipulation by a country leading to a Rwandan massacre or a Somalian civil war amount to good manners?
If not, then a magazine which has its headquarters in that very 'polite city' which orchestrates the above , will do well enough to not take up utterly stupid surveys and voice a biased opinion that people around the world have grown tired listening.

Let these 'polite people' of New York with a per capita income of $40,507 come to Mumbai and try to make a living with the city's per capita income of Rs 48954 which is atually more than 3 times that of the national average and then pick up a fallen paper on the street.
Let them face a reality where a missed local train may mean spending the day hungry for some, where many a 15 people live in a space meant for 2 and then say thank you for their daily purchases which include a piece of bread and nothing else.
Let them hold open a door for the person after them in a city where survival is a matter of pure instinct.

Politeness cannot be measured by a universal constant for many social and demographic factors group together to shape a persons expressions.When Mumbai was flooded last year, people from all hues of life came together and brought back the city to its feet.People formed human chains to transfer many for trapped homes.
Lives were lost to save others.Thank you may not have been said always but was expressed in more than just words.Still Reader's Digest calls us rude.
People travelling 3 hours each day to reach home in a jampacked Mumbai local have a smiling face while forsaking their seats to a stranger who is feeling unwell .Yet Readers Digest calls us rude.
People in a city like Mumbai live with their hearts in their sleeves and a 10 minute walk from Victoria Terminus to ChurchGate will make you realise that.

We know what we are and we dont need any magazine to give us lessons in manners.
We may not say thank you on making a purchase , we may not pick up papers dropped by someone else and we may not hold the door open but we will surely help a stranger in an accident to the hospital.

Let us continue to express ourselves in more genuine acts of good manners than those set as a benchmark by Reader's Digest.
Let us demarcate ourselves with our Indian genuineness.