Diya Jale....Jaan jale

What the fish....Three months since the last post in this blog ?? What is this ..a blog or a fog ???? Har har Har!!! (Such self deprecatory comments invariably draw the appreciation of intelligent critics...so I have heard....and also my ability to write humour, it seems, has died a premature death.)

In these three months a lot of water has flown down the Thames.(Man am I turning English in my expressions !! Claps claps!!)
The whole of last month was festival time in India and was I in India celebrating all the festivities with my family and devouring wonderfully delicious sweets and chasing prospective brides ??? Well Noooooo.....of course not ... Did I not pledge my whole life to the service of the suffering mankind the day I chose this life of struggle and hardships over those high paying management jobs (which nobody anyway gave me)?
Everyday I enter my office and see those expectant little faces and chirpy pleas clamouring for a little helping hand, it reminds me of the enormity of the task that I have undertaken. The IT industry is such a noble profession.

Naaaaah who am I kidding !!! These clients are fast learning the tricks of the trade and as soon as they realise that with a little effort, they can do it all by themselves will they outsource it entirely to China where I hear the government these days are doling out incentives to all couples who volunteer to procreate in an English medium school premise. But till then, thousands and thousands of desis like me will have to spend their festivals in foreign lands far far away from the warmth of their homes.( Whoa was strength of sentiment here !!! This would have made Nirupa Roy cry.)

Well Dussehra came and went by and so did Diwali and while Lord Rama may have returned home after a successful venture down South, we continue to struggle with our own self created demons some of which come packaged with horrendously polite messages such as this :


And come to think of it, running back to home was so much simpler just a few years back.
My only worthwhile achievement in college was the path breaking research work which I, along with some of my friends did in the field of Elasticity leading to some startling discoveries in this field of work.
We demonstrated that when around 15 Bengalies get together (and not discuss Communism) and the threat of suspension from hostels is not that severe, a one week Diwali break can safely be stretched back to an extent that it comfortably includes the days of Durga Puja in its scope.
(Durga Puja by the way occurs 3 weeks prior to Diwali.)
Some of our critics had claimed that our work was not authentic enough and that it borrowed much of its material from the proven theory of Mass-Bunk.

I tell you India is so not an ideal place for scientists.

The journey from Surat to my hometown took a mere 3 and half days by train and most often than not Indian Railways gave me a festival bonus by rounding off the days to a wholesome four. Reservations on these journeys was as unrealistic a concept as Tanushree Dutta winning the National Award for her acting skills and thus while we boarded the trains as humans, there was not much to distinguish us from dirty beddings when we finally disembarked from them.

Oh my home is not in Timbaktoo by the way. I in fact grew up in a smallish town, which till recently was not known by many to actually exist in India but all this changed when a lad with whom I once went to school thought of auditioning for Indian Idol.
While Amit Paul swayed the nation with his amazing crooning abilities, many people came to know that when one said 'Shillong me Khasis rehte hain', it did not mean that Shillong is inhabited by various kinds of Coughs.
Also I hear that the IIM Management has pulled a fast one this year by clandestinely opening a centre there. Cheers to my lovely city which for long has not got its due liimlight.

And while Diwalis come and Diwalis go, bugs too are resolved or camouflaged and left to be discovered by some innocent Chinese some twenty years from now.
Tigers are so much more smarter than Dragons ....Muhuahhaaa ..haaaa...MUhuhuaaha aaa!!!


Question of the Day- What are the thoughts of the pregnant lady as she goes into labour on Diwali night ?
Answer- Dard-e-Disco....Dard-e-Disco...Dard-e-Disco!!!