Two months have passed since I rejoined back corporate life following my MBA and boy have I taken the world by storm !! Cutting edge strategy work, shadowing the executive board and winning a couple of top notch deals....All in this short span of time !!!!
Yeah and I also am Brad Pitt .....Read on.
It all started with an induction week in Pune as a part of a batch of MBA graduates, the average age of which was greatly distorted by me being in it. Apart from those excruciatingly boring speeches about company capabilities by equally bored gentlemen , some very interesting activities formed a part of the program. As a part of team building exercises, was one where we were supposed to lie flat on the floor with eyes closed and make weird noises that were to depict different kinds of laughter. As the room steadily started resembling the venue of the annual World Hyena Conference, I wondered whether all those foul sounding noises was actually aimed at me. A person with 7 years of IT experience , frustrated with his job turns to an MBA from the best in the country to get out of the mess and after spending close to 2 million rupees and a very fertile year of his life, comes back to join the same rut !!! Bravo... Bravo I heard and then the howls grew louder and more sarcastic.
And then I had a second thought, that maybe it isn't directed at me alone ...Here was a batch of 30 odd MBA grads from prestigious colleges hired by an organisation that for certainly had the word Business Consulting in its name but no matter how hard the business owners tried to convince us (or probably themselves) about the consulting aspects of the business, there really was none . This was more a case of selling TT balls in a Rasogolla tin with the label - Made in an Indian Institute of Management !!!
The howls of laughter suddenly sounded like chants of Ulloo Banaya !! Ulloo Banaya !! and those expectations of doing cutting edge management consulting work died at a very premature age. The face of that HR who had recruited me suddenly floated by. He had a sly smile !!
A morning of Salsa camp with an instructor in very tight fitting clothes and a God gifted figure helped relieve the uneasiness a bit but it only confirmed the fact that my dancing abilities are best and probably only appreciated by equally drunk gentlemen. It was sheer decency on the part of my dancing partner that saved me from being physically assaulted by her for repeatedly stomping her feet.
Coming to accommodation, sharing rooms is something I don't mind at all, provided the physiology of the roommate allows for the appreciation of an extra orifice. But my organisation was not very keen on my interests as I found myself holed up with another chap in a very smallish room. So we turned to that one thing that offers solution to so many bachelor problems. Yes, Beer. And the one week of induction passed off peacefully thereafter.
Next destination and place of posting was the City of Joy. I have always wondered which this city alone got this name when Kingfishers Strong is available in every city of this country.
For those under the illusion that Gujarat and Mizoram are dry states, a visit to the nearby asylum for a quick checkup and maybe a week long stay is highly recommended. By the way, if you do manage the visit, then probably you could do me a favour and ask the HR junta (who surely must be permanent residents there) as regards what was the sense in having an induction planned at a location, 1841 kilometers away from the posting location !!!
However, this did give me an opportunity to touch base with some long lost faces from the engineering era, which only cemented the fact that the disorders that those 4 years introduce into your system are unfortunately and fortunately, permanent.
Now if the room in the guest house in Pune was small , the one we got in Calcutta was probably meant to house prisoners for the night who have escaped jail and were being transported to a higher security facility the very next morning. We were also welcomed by a rodent of a size that for a moment made me mistake him for a fellow new joinee. The housekeeper negated that. In this moment of disbelief, one of my colleagues thought it prudent to mention that some of hisbatch mates recruited by one of the two cola giant were received at the airport in a stretch limousine. The irony just seeped in further.
Office started a day later. The person I was asked to report to curiously had to leave for US that very day and to think of it I had barely spoken to him for five minutes over phone ! Its amazing what measures people have to take to avoid my company ! Nonetheless someone else filled in to show me around and introduced me with fellow team members. Of course there was no seat allocated to me but there was promise of one in a couple of days.
The start surely was encouraging !!!!
To be continued ....................
